I dont know how many people this thought goes for but here it is. I was scrolling through a girl friend's instagram, catching up on what's been going on her life as of late. I dont get on social media a ton so, when I do get on I'm usually behind. Anyway, I've known this person awhile...like 14 years awhile. We've been through a lot together. We both are the same age and are both in a new but similar chapter in life right now...marriage. We both have been married a year or two. It's been interesting to say the least, definitely quite the ride. We've grown closer actually, due to understanding the struggles and enjoyments that marriage brings that singles won't understand until they're not single. I dont mean that in an antagonistic way, it's just the way life seems to work. Scrolling through both mine and my friend's old pictures brought up a lot of memories, good and bad, but I started to notice something interesting. Something about our eyes...our face. Pictures I knew were during tough times or dark moments were in fact dark. But when we were simply enjoying the pleasures of life, you could see it in our face. The pictures changed often, flipping back and forth between good and bad moments, like night and day. Then I looked at our pictures of today. It's only been 1-2 years of marriage and already I noticed a change in both our faces. You see, before, our eyes portrayed one extreme to another. Marriage seems to have a look that deserves its own chapter altogether. In a single look you can look into that person's eyes and see joy and sorrow, pain and ecstacy, turmoil and peace. I wonder if that's why some people think they'd be happy not married. Because life is simpler single. It's just you. Are you happy today, sad, frustrated? Marriage... it's suddenly not just about you. You juggle to maintain your emotions but also your spouse's. My mom asked me one day how I was feeling. Before I was married I was proud of the fact that I could but a word to what I was feeling almost everytime. I've found it quite a bit more complicated now. Someone asks me that and I wonder, where do I begin? "Such and such was amazing and just made me feel great but my husband has had a rough day so I'm trying to encourage him..." It's like that movie Inside Out. Before life is simple and suddenly your emotions become more complex and it is portrayed outwardly. Women with a husband and kids, you see it even more so. Stress, love, exhaustion, all at the same time play out a story onto the face of that person. It's sad that so often we focus on what one person has that you dont have or that their life seems more pleasing because that doesn't matter when the turmoil inside is the same. Why cant we look around and try and read the other person's story written across their face before passing judgement or wishing we were them or whatever it is! I feel like maybe we dont take the time to NOTICE these small things. It takes work, time, an actual effort to look into another's eyes and say "Hey, hang in there." Life is tough as it is without all of us at each others throats. I feel the need to definitely work on this. Work on reaching out to encourage and not tear down. To be a listener who's focus is simply to lighten the load off someones shoulders and in return encourage them to let God do the same. We women need to stop comparing and criticizing ourselves and realize we cant do it all on our own like the world promotes. Not only is God standing next to us waiting to take the jumbled up pile of mixed emotions we have but we, as sisters of Christ are also supposed to be next to each other to reminding us of this and being uplifting.
Sincerely,
Shannon Grace
